Letting go

Today, with God's loving grace, I went through boxes of infant clothes. I am dealing with 'secondary infertility' meaning that I have had one child (thank you Jesus!) but now I am unable to have another. God is faithful and I know that if it is in His plan for me to have more children then I will. But the human part of me cannot seem to let go of my dream of having 5 or 6 kiddos running around making me crazy... and happy!

I intentionally wanted to get rid of as much as I could so that I could 'let-go' of the desire to have another baby. I feel called to 'let-go' because I was just thinking about it all the time. I am learning to deal with secondary infertility and for me, giving away four bags of baby clothes was just the thing I needed to do in order to really step forward in faith.

I am excited to know that instead of the clothes sitting in the garage, now they will go to someone who needs them. My next step is to go through the larger items and decide what can be donated or sold and what should be kept. I hate to hold onto anything because it feels like I am not fully letting go but I know that if I were to become pregnant in the next three years we wouldn't be able to re-buy the larger items.

For now I rest in Christ. I know that His plan is the plan I desire. For all those who are dealing with fertility issues, my prayers go out to you. You will be in my heart in a special way this week.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;